Friday, February 13, 2015

Love Grows

We did want to get pregnant. It was planned. But for some reason, the moment I saw those two pink lines, I felt like I was strapped into a roller coaster that I didn't want to be on, and it was rolling forward.

Now, D-Day is less than five weeks away, and I have Grown. And our house has shrunk, as baby things overflow the room I thought we had.

And Owen is starting to wonder if he will still get love and attention after the baby is born. Between his Ph.D. program, my job, and keeping our house from becoming a complete mess, we don't get enough time together as it is, and now he'll have to compete for my time with a baby?  He doesn't stand a chance. And MaryMilo (our giant tortie monster-cat) still thinks that the crib is for her—she's in for a surprise.

The YouTube series "Convos with My 2 Year Old" takes real conversations between daddy and child and reenacts them with an adult man as the child. For one, the videos are hilarious. They also highlight an interesting relationship dynamic between daddies and children: the children are interlopers. They're demanding strangers who come in and steal your wives.

But we've discovered something about love from our relationship together: Love Grows.

We thought we'd lose friends in becoming a couple, instead we've gained each others' friends, and family. And our friends are getting married and adding more friends. I'm not saying it's always easy. Adding new people to existing relationships creates all sorts of roll confusion, jealousy, and sometimes divisiveness. But none of those things come from love.

I think the most common contender to love in growing families is idolization. New parents have so many things to idolize: the baby, future dreams, old habits, ideas of what it is to be a mom or a dad, to name a few.

Now Owen and I have the opportunity to let the love we have for each other grow to include love for our baby. We don't expect to completely avoid the pitfalls of idolization, but we know what to look out for.

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